Beers and Jeers #38 (Feb 26/09 vs. Columbus Blue Jackets)

Hello everyone. Today is a good day for hockey. ***There was something in the air that night. The stars were bright, fernando*** Pisani is back. I took a while but he's playing tonight. Grebeshkov will be back most likely next game. Erik Cole is still an Oiler. And the Oilers are sitting in 9th. Life is looking better.

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Ryan Whitney was traded to the Ducks today for Ryan Kunitz and a prospect. So that officially takes Whitney off the market. I thought that he was going to be an Oiler Eklund? So much for him being right. :)

And another trade was made today. Montreal acquires Doug Janik and Dallas receives Steve Begin. Ahh... who cares right?

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A lot of people sure think that the sky is falling... But is it really? I don't think so. I think that this team is in good shape. The Oilers are sitting in 9th. Tied with 3 other teams. A win here moves us up. A loss won't help the cause. I know. Pretty obvious observation. But the sky is not falling. I hear, "Gagner is not an NHLer and never will be", "Cole sucks", Hemsky doesn't lace his skates right", "Penner eats too many cheeseburgers", "Schremp for Mayor of E-Town". it is starting to drive people mental. If Tambo could just make a deal, it may quiet some people for awhile. Or not. I think mostly people like to hear themselves bitch and complain and see if they can get a rise out of someone. Most of the time it's laughable.

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1st Period

In the 1st minute and a half, Boll runs into Roli. (unbelievably Gilbert sees it, watches it, and forgets about it. Boooooooo!) Hopefully Roli plays mad for the rest of the game. And hopefully someone beats the crap out of Boll tonight or he's going to be a pest all game. Penalty for Stortini at 2:34. *sigh* But Rick Nash takes a penalty at 3:33 to make it 4 on 4 for a bit. Neither team does much other than one post hit by the BJ's. (don't be gross people, it means Blue Jackets) Seven minutes into this game, and it's kinda slow to get started. No real good opportunities for either team yet. (BJ's just took their first shot) Nothing worth screaming at anyways. However at 10:50, Torres and Strudwick drop the gloves. Torres starts swinging but Struds isn't ready yet. Boom, Boom, Boom. Strudwick fires some rabbit punches and takes down Torres. Quick but good fight. At 13:49, Boll takes an intentional shot at Roli after the whistle and infuriates Roli. Souray gives him a good chop and Roli is on his way out to kick his ass. But only Boll gets the penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct. And rightfully so. So with the PP the Oilers can't do anything and the crowd let's then know that that is not cool and they get a nice boooooo! The 1st line seems to be the most productive out of all the Oiler lines so far. Just as the seconds were dying, Rick Nash almost scores but Roli comes up HUGE. Yeah... he's pissed off. Thanks Boll. 0-0 Tie Game.

2nd Period

Let's hope the fun factor of this game increases. The 1st was kind of lame. This period doesn't really start out any better. Peckham takes a penalty at 4:22. But the Jackets can't score on Roli. The BJ's are looking like they want to win this game. They have some drive. The Oilers don't. Not much happens until Horcoff takes a penalty at 11:20. Again the BJ's can't score on Roli. I can't believe that here I am, watching the team I love, and I'm bored. Good lord! Just as the period is winding down, Ethan Moreau takes the Oilers 3rd Hooking penalty of the game. But he's lucky as Commodore goes to the box for holding his stick. This was a bad period by the Oilers. They were out played, out shot, out everything. Brutal. Booooooooooo! The highlight other than Roli was Souray as the Oiler shot leader with 4 after two periods. 0-0 Tie Game.

3rd Period

Let's hope the 3rd is somewhat better. Well Souray nails one of the BJ's early in the period. Shortly after that, Nash nails the post and almost makes it a 1-0 game. Thanks Mr. Post. Steve Staios tries to rally the troops with a scuffle after the whistle with Peckham in there as well. Come on Oilers! The momentum is swinging our way now. Ahhhh. Torres scores at 7:45. 1-0 Blue Jackets. Well wouldn't you know it. The Boo Birds are out in full force now (and at my house). They were lingering all game. But damn rights. Those people at that arena deserve to boo them players. They are playing like crap. For the love of god! Moreau takes yet another hooking penalty. Another bad timing penalty. How many more does this guy need to take before something changes? Take that C off of him and give to someone who would represent it better. Like Souray. "LEADERSHIP IS ACTION... NOT POSITION" I live by that rule. If you can't be like that then you have no business being the captain. Back to the game. Cole makes a fancy drop pass to Staios. But Staios isn't there. Huge giveaway. Nash gets a breakaway, but once again Roli is there to save the Oilers ass. That by the way was Roli's 30th save of the game. So there is now 3:00 minutes left and I'm looking for a goal scoring hero. The fans are looking for a hero. Do we have one? Anyone? lol. MacT puts out Reddox. What is he doing out there? Just as time is winding down, MacT pulls the goalie and has (89, 12, 34, 18, 44, 77) out for the final minute. Really? Moreau? Pisani? But Pisani fires off one last blast but can't score. The Blue Jackets win! *shakes head* What a joke.

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Tonight's Starting Lines

Penner Horcoff Hemsky (Terrible. Started good. Ended bad.)

Nilsson Gagner Cole (Terrible. They were on for the BJ goal.)

Moreau Cogliano Pisani (Terrible and slow. Pisani was winded after the 1st.)

Reddox Brodziak Stortini (Didn't get much chance to be terrible)

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FINAL SCORE

Columbus Blue Jackets - 1

Edmonton Oilers - 0

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BEERS

Dwayne Roloson - Gramps was a rock tonight. He did everything he could to give the Oilers a fighting chance to win this game. He knew that this was important. He knew he had to show up and lead this team. (maybe Roli needs the C?) Thank god for Boll pissing him off because we all know when Roli is mad... He's at his best. For another excellent game and for being left to hang out and dry again. Have a few frosty beers. You deserve it! Cheers!

Ladislav Smid - He has really impressed me since the injuries. He has an edge that he plays with. He seems to really play a solid game. He's not the same guy from last year. He played 20:22 and had 4 hits. He also managed to block 3 shots. For a pretty fantastic game, enjoy a brewski Smid. Cheers!

For The Fans in the Oiler Nation - God knows we all need a beer after that. (maybe even two) That was terrible. Cold one anyone? Ok. *holds up beer* "To something better." Cheers!

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JEERS

The Amount of Giveaways - How can we expect to win games with 26 giveaway's? I don't think to many. Tom Gilbert and Ethan Moreau were the worst of the bunch. Although Cole's were bad timming ones. Bottom line... that is BS! 26 *shakes head* Boooooooooo!

Lack of Shots - 32 (CLB) to 19 (EDM) was the final shot total. Out of those 19 shots, how many were actual chances? Not many I would suspect. No shots and a ton of giveaway's. If you guys are going to play like that... do it on the road so you don't waste the ticket holders money. Booooooooo!

Ethan Moreau - I don't really know what else I can say about him. I can't stand him anymore. His bad plays keep hurting this team over and over again. He really has no positives. The fans may be sick of Craig MacTavish... But I'm sick of Ethan Moreau. You need to go. Booooooooo! (In fact I am starting my own FMNF campaign. The NNC campaign. What does it mean? Need New Captain.)

The Entire Team - For one, Roli gets hit again and no one does a thing. Gilbert looked at it and then turns his head and skates away. Wow! Freaking pansy. For two, MacT says you play if you can give more than you give up. We gave up way more this game. No wonder Reddox was out there and NOT Hemsky in the final minutes. What a craptacular game. Thanks for the memories... Boooooooooo!

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That was a sad and pathentic game. I sure hope that the other Oiler squad shows up on Saturday. If not then... then... well I don't know. I don't really want to find out. Oh. And it's against the Wild. I will expect Big Mac to draw back in. See you all then.

"What Would _______ Do?"

Well I was thinking about doing some Christmas shopping on Sunday and decided to head to the local Wally Mart. This is my daughter's 1st Xmas and I can't help but keep buying her stuff. She's so damn cute. So, I start walking in (with my list of course) and automatically head to the toy section. I used to love this section when I was a kid. Mom and dad would say "meet us at "whatever" time. I'd say "yeah" and I would be gone. I still feel like a weirdo standing there checking out the cabbage patch kids. I feel like I need to prove I have a kid in order to be in the girl section. People are rude for the most part. So I get a lot of stares and whispers.

I look at my list and the spin and dance Uniqua from the Backyardigans is #1. I can see it. There is only one left and I'm 50 feet away. The place is swarming with people. Damn. I need it.

Now I am not all that religious (unless the Oiler's is considered a religion) now a days but I couldn't help but think... People like to live thier lives with the whole "What Would Jesus Do?" So why not the Oiler's right?

"So" I thought. What Would Hemsky Do? Good plan. So I started out doing a fast jog, then I started really picking up speed. WATCH OUT! I jump to the left. Oh no! Spin-a-rama to the right. Almost there. One more juke to the left and back to the right and I'm there...

Right on. It worked. Just as I start to catch my breath, this dude in a suit starts to cut in front of me and starts grabbing for the toy. No way there tie wearing dude. Not today.

So? I quickly thought...

What Would MacTavish Do? I flashed a grin and without a blink I grabbed a hold of the dude's tie and ripped it right off. He stood there speechless as I grabbed the toy and walked quickly away. Take that Harvey the Hound #2

Yeah! (self high 5)

Well now I am starting to feel pretty good about myself. What's next on the list? Baby Einstein Kaleidoscope. Cool toy. Lights up and plays music. Easy to learn colors type of toy. Well... There was two left. Two. Now anyone knows that you never want the front toy because everyone and their dog has played with it already. So you want the one that is way in the back. Right? Well just as I start walking to get it and this lady and her 7 year old kid were heading that way.

Quick think man....

What Would Cole Do? I started running and just as the two of us were reaching "the toy", I pretend to slip on some water and I deliver the best Erik Cole open ice hit on her. BAM! She goes flying to the floor. Yes!!!! I got it. The back one. I help her off her kid and apologize for slipping and make some joke about how crappy the employees are here and I make off laughing under my breath. Sucker.

Now I have one more thing on the list and so far no luck. Oh wait. Is that the new IgglePiggle doll/figurine? It is. Hmmmm.... My girl is going to love that.
What Would Visnovsky Do? I know. He's good at getting in and getting out quick. So I kick it into high gear and do a run by. Successful! I have all three presents that I wanted to get for my princess. Living large and in charge.
So I go heading off to the check out till. Long lines of course. It's Christmas.

As I am waiting in line that jack ass Mr. No Tie guy from the Uniqua episode is giving me the eye. "Screw him", I say. I'm leaving. What could be the harm now right?
So What Would Souray Do? So I gave him that look. You know the look. The "I'm gonna rip some poop up on you" look. Yeah that's right. I'm bad ass. (I'm actually scared but you can't show him that) I finish paying and get my cash back and I start getting ready for the full on winter blast that I am sooooo lucky to receive at this time of year. And here is that hole of a butt, Mr. Suit with no tie guy again.
"Hey", he yells at me. "I needed that toy for my kid."
"So did I" I say back.
"Are you getting smart with me?" he growls.
"Yes I am", I reply.
He keeps getting closer to me. Sure enough he's parked beside me. What dumb luck huh? He looks really angry the closer he gets. Crap once again. What now?
Ahhhh... then it came to me. What Would MacIntyre Do?
What could I do? So I shirted him and started feeding him rights to the side of the noggin'. It shocked him a little. You could see it in his eyes. He starts to cover his head. So I did what Big Mac would do. I started feeding him in the ribs. (I learned from Big Mac that no matter what, you need to hit the opponent somewhere that's vulnerable or otherwise it's a waste of a punch) So I kept swinging until I was satisfied that he was going to be stunned. He fell to the ground and I found my opening to make a run for it. I snatched up all my gifts and jumped into my old crown victoria and sped off quickly.
Next stop... Tim Hortons.
Mmmmmm... Double Double.
Geez... what an afternoon. Next time I am going to send the wife. She's more like Chopper. She just goes in swinging her purse like she's big #18 and her life depends on it. Until next year...
Happy Holidays Everybody!!!

Smokin' Ray Burnt


***TRUE STORY: Based on true events that may or may not have happened in real life***

Welcome to the Oilers Jambalaya

Hello everyone and welcome.

My name is Smokin' Ray Burnt. I am a musician (more on that later) and a avid Oilers fan. I am 31 years old and I have been a fan of the Oilers since I was 7 years old. (1984 for those who don't want to do the math) Why the Oilers? Not sure why. But I do know how.

I had a relative who was trying to break into the league with the Philly Flyers back in the mid 80's(he managed 20 something games and then blew his knee out) and something (CBC) must have drawn me to the blue and orange. (incidentally my two favorite colors) My dad always liked hockey. He would listen to the Canucks games on the radio in the car. So I grew to like it too. I just remember watching the 1984/85 playoffs with him and falling in love with this magical team. This Oiler team. They were fast and tough. They were smart and lethal. Everyone was mystified by Gretzky. But Messier was my favorite player. Semenko was a close second. And wow... Paul Coffey. Grant Fuhr. Gretzky. Kurri. It was great. I was spoiled and didn't even know it.

So that was that. I am a very loyal guy (ask Pepsi) and that was my team for now on. Forever. It was a little harsh sometimes being a fan because I grew up in B.C. No one could understand why I wasn't a nucks fan. For one, they suck! Two, I don't care. My old man cheers for them but not I. The razing went from bad to worse in the mid 90's. (I think most people can remember) But I didn't care. They were my team and I kept up hope.

By the late 90's I had moved my way up to the awesome city of Edmonton and the hardworking province of Alberta. I ended up living 4 blocks away from Northlands. (I miss that name) It was awesome to be at the games and experience the "air" around a playoff game. That's right... I paid the $1 and beat the hell out of the Colorado Avalanche car with a sledgehammer in front of the Skyreach Center. That was fun. And I seen Mark Sholtz and that fatter dude from breakfast television play with their band outside of the arena. Bad ass is what that is. jk It was even better because the games that I couldn't afford to go to I would rush home as the game was about to begin and turn on the game with the mute on and listen to the live crowd. Playoff crowds are freaking awesome in Edmonton. So I would be on my couch and cheer with the crowd I heard coming through my window.

Then the great mighty run of the modern era. I'll tell you one thing. I almost cried the day they announced the Peca/Pronger signings. It felt like my hope and patience for the past 16 some odd years was finally paying off. And it almost did. Game 7 almost. I cried then... Then I was spitting mad a few days later. (still am...) I couldn't understand why anyone would want to go? 1 game from a championship and you want to give that all away for "greener pastures"? Bull crap I say. But life goes on and here we are at present day.

I've seen a lot as a regular everyday normal fan. I have opinions just like the next guy. Am I right sometimes? Hope so. Am I wrong sometimes? Most likely. But who cares. I am passionate about this team. I am their #1 fan. (like 18,000 others) I just hope I can bring another side of things out. If it's game day then I will be at http://www.oilernation.com/ Oh damn good fun there.

So....

Thank you for stopping by and I hope I can entertain you. Or at least waste your time.

Smokin' Ray Burnt

You can check my profile to visit my music site.